It is tough being on the medication - especially those first few months, and some people can't even get off the sofa or bed, sleep loads, and often when awake will just cry. You can't ever see your way out because you're so deeply embroiled in it all (you can't see the wood for the trees). As you begin to recover you'll start to see it in a different light. At the moment all you can think is anxious or depressed thoughts because your body is anxious or depressed, so it stands to reason your thinking will be the same. As you begin to emerge from all this, your thoughts also start to change and you'll start to feel lighter. It does take a very long time though, but don't give up - just keep going. I kept my anxiety hidden from my family - probably because I didn't know how anyone would react, didn't want to worry them, and actually didn't really know how to explain it. I don't know how I managed that sometimes ...... but they must have seen some change in me but probably just thought I was a miserable, moody person. It can become an obsession to read stuff online and search for others who've recovered. I was very similar, though the internet wasn't about back then, but I did all mine just reading books and magazines. Don't read doom and gloom stories though - there's no point, and it'll just add to your despair. Everyone has their own despair so don't take on board what others say. Everyone can recover from this - medicine and this BOOK AND WEBSITE will help guide you. You do question if you're mad - but no, you're not mad - believe me. You wouldn't be aware of all this and trying to recover if you were. I had exactly the same thoughts - but I knew I was completely sane, but just someone who was suffering from something I couldn't explain. I really would give these meds a good 6 months and longer. Longer the better. Recovery doesn't happen quickly so you have to give them long enough for your body to adapt to them. It took me 6 months to recover - some people take longer, some quicker. You can't hurry recovery - however painful it is, just keep going forward. Let it be, go with it ....... its temporary.
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