A thought came to me the other night about how to explain primary and secondary thoughts, and how to deal with them - something I talk of regularly. So ... here’s a test I’d like you to try: Pick up a pen. Look at the pen for a little while. Put the pen down and walk away. Strange? So the pen represents a daily thought you have, any thought, good or bad. This is how everyone’s thoughts pops into our minds. Looking at it means you’ve registered it in your mind for a while, and putting it down and walking away is you just leaving it and forgetting about it. This is how normal daily thoughts come and go. So, now we’ll try it again but with something different. Pick up a pen. Look at it for a little while. Write your name. Draw on your arm. Look at the pen again and observe the colour, the style, does it have black or blue ink, or even another colour, is the pen slim or is it a chunky pen, does it have a tiny fluffy toy on the end, do you have to click it or swivel to reveal the nib, where did you buy the pen, maybe someone gave it to you, who gave it to you, when did they give it to you, how long will the pen last before it breaks, why did you write on your arm, what did you write, how much did you write, will it wash off, how did you write your name on the paper, is your name short or long, were you named after anyone, is it a family name ......... ...... these questions can be endless, and one leads to another. So, again the pen was your thought again, only this time it was accompanied by anxiety, writing on your arm and the paper were 2 separate side effects which were caused by the pen, and the analysis of the pen is the head chatter you do about the anxious thought. Can you see that the analysis of the pen and it’s side effects keeps the thought of the pen in your mind - because let’s face it, you probably didn’t think of anything else then. So it’s the analysis of the pen (head chatter) that you need to stop in order for you to be able to lose that thought. Ok, so the pen didn’t make you feel anxious, and I did think about saying every thought you have about the pen you’re to poke yourself in the arm with the nib to represent the anxiety feeling ...... but nah, we can imagine the anxiety, not create pain. So, how do we stop the head chatter? Let’s now try the next test: Pick up the pen (represents the anxious thought). Feel it in your hand (awareness of the thought being there). Do not look at the pen, however much you want to, do not look at it. Not a glimpse. Just feel it in your hand. Now go and pour yourself a glass of water and still do not look at the pen, but only feel it in your hand (best use a plastic cup being one handed lol). Next pick up some fruit or a biscuit or something to eat, again not looking at the pen, just being aware of the feeling in your hand. Finally, put the pen down. So that last exercise represented you having the thought arrive in your mind (picking up the pen), and just holding it and feeling it is you being aware the thought is present in your mind. Not looking at the pen is you not revisiting the thought to analyse it, and pouring yourself a cup of water, eating food whilst still holding the pen is you going about your day taking the thought with you and being aware of its presence, and resisting looking at it is you not head chattering about it. This is what I mean about primary and secondary thoughts. The primary thought is the pen and the secondary thoughts are the head chatter / analysis of the pen. We stop the secondary thoughts even though we’ll be aware of them for a while (carrying the pen, feeling it and being aware of it). Head chatter (secondary thoughts) about the primary thought (or pen) will keep the awareness of the primary thought constantly revolving round your mind. You cannot find an answer to the anxious thought and it doesn’t matter because you can’t solve an unsolvable question. By stopping the secondary thoughts then I can guarantee you the primary thought will lose its grip on you, you will lose the fear of it and you will be able to put the pen down and walk away in time. If you keep reminding yourself of the intrusive thought that you want to lose, then you won’t if you keep head chattering about it or anything to do with the anxiety condition. You probably have multiple thoughts and you don’t have to treat each one separately, one at a time. So pick up all the pens in your pencil case and carry them around not looking at any of them. Not one. This is how to treat ALL anxious thinking. You don’t separate each one, treating each one at a time - however many pens you pick up, treat them all at the same time. Stop head chattering about the thought, just be aware of any thought as you go about your day and the thought will go. Stop thinking about the think.
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