Intrusive Thoughts |
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When suffering with anxiety, one of the biggest problems people seem to suffer with is intrusive thoughts - and I had my fair share of them, believe me. These thoughts can be about anything, are all personal to each individual, and each and every thought that frightens you is as scary as the thoughts that frightens someone else.
Why do they frighten us? Because they come charged with anxiety - and because the anxiety feels so frightening, that particular thought will cling to your mind - you didn't like the feeling, so you won't like the thought. Each time you think that thought, that anxiety will spike - and so you then become afraid of your thoughts. This is when people start to think they're going insane, and then the thought of that spikes more fear into the sufferer.
Over time this thought will probably be replaced with other thoughts, and no matter how many intrusive thoughts you have, you'll probably find there's always one major one forefront of the mind, each new thought seemingly bigger and more frightening than the last one.
How do we stop our thoughts? Well, we can't stop them coming but we can change the way we react to them, which will in time stop them being frightening and we'll be able to put them aside like we do any other normal thought.
Why do our thoughts persist in hanging around in our heads? Well, its our constant head chatter and over analysis of them that keeps them there. If we didn't engage with them, then they would feel uncomfortable but would simply disappear in time. How do we do this?
We have a natural cut-off from our thoughts, ie imagine you were driving along and passed a man in a red coat walking a dog, you'd notice him and probably think about him for a while as you carried on driving. As your journey progresses, you'll think of that image for a while, then start to notice other scenes and eventually you won't be thinking of the man in the red coat walking his dog. The point when we subconsciously stopped thinking about him is our natural cut-off point, but we didn't know when it happened - it just did. We didn't force that image from our mind.
Also, when we have an intrusive thought, its often followed quickly by a spike of anxiety, and its then we immediately start to question it, analyse it from every angle, trying to put it right, reassure ourselves, give ourselves positive thoughts, then hate it, wish it were gone, wonder how long it will be there, yadah yadah yadah ....... on and on our minds will chat ........ and so is it any wonder that the thought and feeling will stick around. The body will also remember that you didn't like this, so each time you have that thought it will again come powered with anxiety - which often grows. Each and every time we have this thought accompanied with the feeling, then we make the same mistake each time with head chattering - and so the habit of intrusive thoughts clings.
So ..... instead when the intrusive thought pops up followed by the anxiety, then no matter what it is or however you feel, try not to revisit that thought and feeling with any head chatter,, not even a positive affirmation. Nothing. Let that thought and feeling be there and let it flow. It will be short lived and it will find its own natural cut-off and ease off. No you will not lose the fear of it or the repetition of it - just yet, but if you follow this up each time you have an intrusive thought then I can guarantee you the intrusive thought will in time lose the fear and will lose its grip on you.
Remember - DO NOT revisit that thought with any head chatter. Let it be and your natural cut-off deal with it.
Will Beswick refers to these thoughts as as Primary and Secondary thoughts in his book (see Resources), with the Primary thought being any thought we ever think of whether it be normal or intrusive, and the Secondary thoughts being the head chatter. Quit the head chatter (revisiting) and the Primary thought will eventually return to normal / disappear.
Why do they frighten us? Because they come charged with anxiety - and because the anxiety feels so frightening, that particular thought will cling to your mind - you didn't like the feeling, so you won't like the thought. Each time you think that thought, that anxiety will spike - and so you then become afraid of your thoughts. This is when people start to think they're going insane, and then the thought of that spikes more fear into the sufferer.
Over time this thought will probably be replaced with other thoughts, and no matter how many intrusive thoughts you have, you'll probably find there's always one major one forefront of the mind, each new thought seemingly bigger and more frightening than the last one.
How do we stop our thoughts? Well, we can't stop them coming but we can change the way we react to them, which will in time stop them being frightening and we'll be able to put them aside like we do any other normal thought.
Why do our thoughts persist in hanging around in our heads? Well, its our constant head chatter and over analysis of them that keeps them there. If we didn't engage with them, then they would feel uncomfortable but would simply disappear in time. How do we do this?
We have a natural cut-off from our thoughts, ie imagine you were driving along and passed a man in a red coat walking a dog, you'd notice him and probably think about him for a while as you carried on driving. As your journey progresses, you'll think of that image for a while, then start to notice other scenes and eventually you won't be thinking of the man in the red coat walking his dog. The point when we subconsciously stopped thinking about him is our natural cut-off point, but we didn't know when it happened - it just did. We didn't force that image from our mind.
Also, when we have an intrusive thought, its often followed quickly by a spike of anxiety, and its then we immediately start to question it, analyse it from every angle, trying to put it right, reassure ourselves, give ourselves positive thoughts, then hate it, wish it were gone, wonder how long it will be there, yadah yadah yadah ....... on and on our minds will chat ........ and so is it any wonder that the thought and feeling will stick around. The body will also remember that you didn't like this, so each time you have that thought it will again come powered with anxiety - which often grows. Each and every time we have this thought accompanied with the feeling, then we make the same mistake each time with head chattering - and so the habit of intrusive thoughts clings.
So ..... instead when the intrusive thought pops up followed by the anxiety, then no matter what it is or however you feel, try not to revisit that thought and feeling with any head chatter,, not even a positive affirmation. Nothing. Let that thought and feeling be there and let it flow. It will be short lived and it will find its own natural cut-off and ease off. No you will not lose the fear of it or the repetition of it - just yet, but if you follow this up each time you have an intrusive thought then I can guarantee you the intrusive thought will in time lose the fear and will lose its grip on you.
Remember - DO NOT revisit that thought with any head chatter. Let it be and your natural cut-off deal with it.
Will Beswick refers to these thoughts as as Primary and Secondary thoughts in his book (see Resources), with the Primary thought being any thought we ever think of whether it be normal or intrusive, and the Secondary thoughts being the head chatter. Quit the head chatter (revisiting) and the Primary thought will eventually return to normal / disappear.