Do nothing and get better ....... how can that be? Lots of people try so hard to recover, battling every day, trying this trick and that tip, searching Google time after time, saving their favourite sites and quotes and equally scaring themselves by reading bad stories ...... always searching for an answer. This in itself will make you more tired and more confused - which suggestion should you follow, which one is true as they often contradict each other? Trying too hard will make you worse - you put pressure on yourself to be better, you tense, you become frustrated and angry - you push yourself too much. Isn't this what led you to become unwell in the first place? Pushing your body beyond its capability, stress, more overwork. Yet we don't learn, and once suffering with anxiety we continue to push ourselves, yet our body is asking you to please slow down. Years later some people are still battling ........ doesn't that tell you something? Battling doesn't work. So why not try a different approach ........ Let all feelings and thoughts be there and just get on with life. Stop avoiding places, stop pushing thoughts away ......... just relax, feel the feelings and do it anyway. We are the soul creators on our anxiety - so if we're the creators, then we can unlearn this. Getting on with life, doing exactly what you want to do is the way forward. Yes it will feel uncomfortable, but letting all feelings be there whilst you live ....... believe me, that fear will rise but equally it will always, always die away too. Passing through fear and out the other side is the way forward. I urge you to read At Last a Life and At Last a Life and Beyond by Paul David for more insight into this. It makes sense.......
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When we sleep we relax, and when we wake up, the difference between the relaxed state and the waking state can be jarring, and this can make us feel anxious. We all know the shock of waking up from a deep sleep to a loud alarm, and how anxiety provoking that can be. On awakening, our bodies produce a hormone called cortisol which is released when it’s time to wake up. Cortisol is also released as a response to stress and it can make us feel tense and anxious. This intense feeling will wear off as the day wears on. Remember “this is just a burst of cortisol which is your body’s natural response to waking up”. This might help in not becoming anxious about morning anxiety. Another physical reason we might feel anxious when we wake up is that our blood sugar level drops overnight while we sleep, and this can cause feelings of anxiety in some people. Eating something soon after you get out of bed will help. Alternatively, have a snack or drink by your bed and have this before getting up. Lastly, the thought of 'oh no, here we go again' can also make your stomach flip and heart race as the thought of another day being spent in the grip of anxiety and panic is always worse first thing. Remember though - however you feel when you first wake up is not a reflection to how the rest of your day will be. Anxiety and panic often starts from stress. Your body can only cope with its own personal limit and if you keep piling on more stress then it'll boil over and result in anxiety / panic. That's often when you have a panic attack - its an outpouring of adrenaline. Being pregnant and childbirth is a huge task for your body to deal with - hormones raging about, tiredness, a child to nurture etc etc. I'm assuming you've been checked for post natal depression? Anyhow ... usually when you have a panic attack you often associate it with something you've done at the time or a place you're in at the time of the panic. This actually has no relevance on the panic attack at all, but your brain tells you differently. So you then associate this place or event with panic, and worry about going to that place or doing whatever you were doing at the time in case you panic again. You then create a fear of panic, worry about panic and so start avoiding things. Worrying causes more anxiety, and anxiety causes more fear and worry - so you get caught up in a cycle. Anxiety also causes strange thoughts, and in turn these strange thoughts cause anxiety - adding to this cycle. So then you find yourself in this strange place of fear, anxiety, worry, panic, sadness, thoughts, depression etc etc which will continue to churn around in a constant vicious cycle. All these side effects and thoughts are due to one thing - anxiety. Fix the anxiety and the side effects will go ... so in effect its pointless worrying about the side effects (but of course, we all do). When you have anxiety you will think anxiously and negatively all the time. You will not see anything positive and can only think of doom and gloom, fear and panic. When suffering anxiety and panic we live in a state of tension - clenching our teeth together, holding the body taught, fighting 'this thing'. Nerves are sensitive and tight and they need to be desensitised and calm / more soothed. In order to reverse this cycle your body needs to start relaxing and calming. But what do we do? Instead we rush about hoping that keeping busy will distract us, we keep checking to see if 'it' is still there, and we question ourselves constantly and start the long search for answers and a cure. All this just adds to that vicious cycle that keeps us ill. But we can't see this because we're too entrenched in it all. Eating and a sugar rush will not cause you to have a panic attack. You are doing that by over thinking about this, tensing against it and avoiding it. SSRI medicine will help to calm the body in time. Initially it'll only heighten all these side effects, which inevitably will make you fear panic all the more, but over time as the side effects ease off the body will start to calm and you'll start to feel happier (the meds hang onto our Serotonin before being reabsorbed, making us feel happier). This takes a long time to take effect. Don't stop taking the medicine. It will take time to work - and it will help. You have to give it time though. Trouble is we all do not like the feeling of anxiety and panic, so we panic at the mere thought of it (adding to the anxiety pot). As we wait for the meds to kick in it helps to accept that you will feel like this for a while yet, so don't expect to be well tomorrow. Understand these feelings and side effects take a while to go. You wouldn't expect a broken leg and all its side effects to heal in a week, so treating the anxiety / panic the same is helpful too. Also as we wait for the meds to work we can help ourselves by stop rushing about, stop holding the body tight - let go of tension, slow down all the time. This has the same effect as the meds does. This takes a lot of time too - months, not days or weeks. Some people say I've relaxed this afternoon but the anxiety is still there. Of course it is - it'll take much longer than an afternoon. Many people reading this won't believe that relaxing and slowing down will help, because they don't get instant relief. There isn't an overnight off switch, but with continued practice it does work. The body becomes calmer, thoughts become more logical and calmer, panic soothes, anxiety soothes ....... As said, fearing panic causes more anxiety and more panic. I know this is extremely hard but going through panic is also the way forward. Its our reaction to panic that is key - by fearing it will only reinforce it ... and of course the avoidance game starts, which further reinforces it. When a panic attack strikes the best way to deal with it is to relax as best you can, breathe through it and just let go. The more you tense and fight it the more you will feel frightened. I know this is the hardest thing to do, but believe me nothing will actually happen to you in a panic attack. It will build and it will pass. Passing through it is like passing through a hurricane and out the other side. You're re-educating your body to not fear it. Everyone can overcome this - and I honestly know its not easy, having been there myself. But I found learning about anxiety and panic, the process it takes to produce it, the process to reverse it, the medication all helped me overcome 16 years of it. We all panic about panic - its only natural. But understanding what is happening to you can help to take a lot of tension and fear away. Knowledge is good - practice letting go and not fighting is good - and the meds are even better wink You will get better. Intrusive thoughts are actually just a side effect of anxiety - and then the thoughts produce more anxiety, and the anxiety produces more thoughts. You get stuck in a cycle. Once the anxiety starts to ease so too will the thoughts. I had loads of bad thoughts and they just manifested over time, moved from one important one to another. As I recovered the thoughts became unimportant and now no longer bother me. People worry about their thoughts, but understanding they are no more than a side effect, just as a headache is a side effect of a cold, that really does help. Don't try and stop them - doing that you're just making them more important. If someone said to you 'don't think of a giraffe', then you'd automatically think of a giraffe. Letting them be, not reacting to them and they'll lose their power. Thoughts are very upsetting but if you can learn to just let them be, however powerful they seem, however much anxiety they cause. By paying them attention you make them important ... and so they cling on. They won't go away overnight or next week, but continuous practice and they start to diffuse them. Its like ignoring them, even though they're there. They will pass as you recover. An anxious body goes hand in hand with an anxious mind. Once you're better you think completely differently. Honestly. I get many emails from people asking for any little tips or tricks that will help them recover. I firstly point out that you cannot hurry recovery. Things I found helped (and this is through reading / understanding anxiety and actually doing it). First a daily walk or bike ride (if you can). Getting outside in the fresh air is good, even if you don't feel it at the time. Exercise raises the endorphins and being amongst nature is calming. Often sufferers who start walking, usually just look at the ground, don't take notice of anything around them, but over time as they recover they will start to emerge and begin enjoying the walks. One of the biggest things to help me was relaxing. When you're anxious / depressed your body will naturally tense up to protect itself - similar to how it reacts against cold weather (that kind of tenseness). When you're anxious / depressed your body becomes sensitised and starts to overreact to everything - noise seems extra loud, you get more irritable about things, you overthink and over analyse etc etc. This is because your nerves are super heightened. Anxiety likes a tense body, and it needs to be reversed to help it do become desensitised and for your nerves to return to normal. The relaxing I mean isn't just sitting on the sofa doing nothing, but I mean if you look at your body you'll probably find your jaw is clenched, you hold your stomach muscles tight and you probably rush about from A to B and are highly irritable all the time. So let go of all tension in your body, like flopping .... but do this whilst you move about. This is the opposite of what your body naturally wants to do at the moment. Its quite hard to do actually, and so I used to just practice in short bursts i.e. I'd fully relax whilst maybe washing up, or relax as I walked upstairs etc etc. Over time I was able to relax more. The same for rushing about. Slow down, take your time, don't drive in the outside lane but take the inside lane, drive slower, move about slower. You might think this won't help but it absolutely does. Not straight away, so don't expect immediate results, but over much time your body begins to ease. You're reversing the process. When you're asleep your body is deeply relaxed and probably feels good - upon waking your body instinctively tenses and you feel anxious again. Its gone into the fight or flight mode, and its chosen fight. You can't fight this, but have to go with it and reverse this. Lastly you have to have lots of patience ....... and I mean lots. Understand you aren't going to get better tomorrow or next week, and probably not next month either. But by accepting you feel like you do at the moment, try and go with it however frightening it feels, go for the daily walk, practice relaxing, take your medication if you have been prescribed with any ..... and give yourself time. You will slowly begin to notice small changes, and if you keep going then bigger changes happen until you start feeling well. You will get setbacks along the way, but accept those too, pick yourself up and carry on. Often when I tell people of these tips, they are ignored .... which is quite common. People don't want to hear about relaxing or walking - they just want to be well NOW. Unfortunately you will not be well now and by doing as suggested will lead you to a calmer place. Believe me, I've studied anxiety, I've suffered it for more than 20 years and know how it works. I was the same - I didn't see how relaxing would help, couldn't see it. But it does. 100%. But that's up to you - if you want to go on the same as you've been doing for how many months, then carry on fighting it ...... as I did. You haven't got anywhere though have you, because you're still searching for that magic wand to make you well. So why not instead try as I've suggested and stop fighting it, and go with it, accept it, give in, relax, let your tired anxious body relax and give it the rest its craving for. No it does not mean you're giving up, but it means you're approaching recovery from a different angle - and one that works. I've had people say to me - but I've accepted it and its still there!!! Well you've haven't accepted it or you wouldn't still be complaining. Accepting it means let it be there, however bad it feels. For now anyway. People have also said to me - but I can't relax ..... or, I relaxed last night but have still woken with anxiety. Well of course you have - one practice of relaxation won't do it, and even whilst you relax you'll still feel dreadful. But ....... with continued practice, days, weeks, months it will lead your body into a better place. It often takes a long time to get into the anxiety trap, and so it'll take an equal amount of time to get out of it. Don't put a timescale on getting better. I must be better in a months time for my holiday, I need to be well by Christmas, I've given myself 2 weeks before I go back to work. Forget it. If you do this you will fail, because by the time that date comes round and you're not well you'll feel upset, more tense and feel utterly wretched. Instead just allow however long it takes ..... whether its 6 months, a year or 2 months. Allow recovery to come to you instead of you chasing it. It will come. Everyone can overcome this. However long you've been ill, however deep you feel you've become entrapped. I recommend you read this website and get a copy of the book At Last a Life. http://anxietynomore.co.uk/anxiety_explained.html I sympathise so much with you as know exactly what you're going through. I was ill for 16 years and finally recovered on SSRI's and reading to understand about anxiety some years ago. Learning about anxiety was a huge breakthrough for me. We actually get trapped in a cycle of where we become afraid of the anxiety we suffer from. Anxiety often starts from stress - whether its built up over years or short term. We all deal with stress differently and whilst some people thrive on it, others crumble at a small amount. Your body will cope with so much stress before it reaches its limit and boils over ending in anxiety or a panic attack. When that happens, if it frightens you that sticks in your mind and you begin to fear anxiety and panic. If you're in a particular place when it happens you associate that place with the panic and fear the place. Anxiety then brings on lots of side effects too - racing heart, aches and pains, headaches, feeling detached, racing thoughts, scary thoughts, guilt, fear ...... and many more. The sufferer often feels afraid of these side effects, especially the thoughts, which then in turn produce more anxiety. So this is how you get stuck in a perpetual cycle of constantly being afraid of anxiety - yet the sufferer just keeps adding more fuel to the fire which keeps it burning. Breaking that cycle is the key. Firstly there is no point worrying about the side effects of anxiety - they are just side effects, and these will go once the anxiety starts to ease. Honestly. When you're not well, you become tired and your mind becomes tired. This is when the bad thoughts stick. They are so common with anxiety - this is not the real you, and your mind seems to delve deeper to see what it can find to scare you. I had many of them and I was terrified. Knowing these thoughts will go as the anxiety goes is the start. When you have a thought, just let it come and go, don't give it the importance it wants as its your reaction to it that counts. By not responding to it, it will in time fade and become unimportant. Relaxation is another key factor. Not just when you're sitting, but when you're moving about. Anxiety thrives on tension, and you're body is always tight / tense because we fight this illness. That's the wrong thing to do. Learning to let go of all tension helps to slowly calm the nerves down. Its hard when you're in the grip of bad anxiety / panic, but that's the best time to practice. Let the feelings be there, relax and just carry on. Its like ignoring it. And of course medication. Finding the correct SSRI for you is the other key factor. All these meds are tailored to different people, and if one doesn't work for you, then its best to move on to another - just like you've just done. SSRI's work by hanging onto your serotonin, our feel good neurotransmitters in the brain. This will slowly also make you feel calmer and happier too. This takes time, and we always feel quite rough to start with because our body is adjusting to the meds. These meds can take many, many months before they kick in. During this time you'll get blips where you'll feel like you've gone back to the beginning - thats perfectly normal. Understanding these blips helps, as lots of people think they're ill again and increase their dose. Trouble is increasing will give you side effects again, then they have to settle and you still have to go through the blips. Quite a few people will spend years hopping up and down doses trying to stop these blips, but they just cause more problems instead of letting things settle. You cannot get rid of anxiety in an instant ..... but you can get rid of it with patience, understanding, one constant dose / medication and more patience. I've been on meds twice and the second time I had a different experience whereby I felt completely flat - just like you've described. It went on for months, but I knew the meds worked for me and just carried on. In time the flatness lifted. You will feel out of it because you have all your attention / focus on yourself and how you feel. Its draining. The meds will also make you feel strange for a while too. Being scared of all this will add anxiety to that fire ... remember. I think also you're having blips, which is why you felt like yourself a few weeks ago and for it to disappear. Try and accept this is normal, and try not to fear it. Those normal times will grow more and more. Understanding what's happening will start to help. You will be you again. Everyone can recover from anxiety. Its within you. I can recommend a brilliant website and book that I discovered this year. It was written by a man who suffered for 10 years and then cured himself with the same method I briefly explained above. I used this method via different books / author (Dr Claire Weeks) and her explanation of anxiety was so simple it just made sense. It helped take away the mystery and though I wasn't instantly cured, it helped take some of the fear away. More reading, understanding, working towards it and then the medication is what helped me recover. This website / book I mention is really brilliant. Its not 'just another' website. What he writes is so true. I've passed this on to many others and quite a lot have been working with his method and are making progress. Some even email him for personal advice too. Understanding anxiety has helped me to not fear it anymore, and that has helped me to be able to now be meds free, though I take an over the counter herbal tablet. Here's the link. I hope it helps. http://anxietynomore.co.uk It is tough being on the medication - especially those first few months, and some people can't even get off the sofa or bed, sleep loads, and often when awake will just cry. You can't ever see your way out because you're so deeply embroiled in it all (you can't see the wood for the trees). As you begin to recover you'll start to see it in a different light. At the moment all you can think is anxious or depressed thoughts because your body is anxious or depressed, so it stands to reason your thinking will be the same. As you begin to emerge from all this, your thoughts also start to change and you'll start to feel lighter. It does take a very long time though, but don't give up - just keep going. I kept my anxiety hidden from my family - probably because I didn't know how anyone would react, didn't want to worry them, and actually didn't really know how to explain it. I don't know how I managed that sometimes ...... but they must have seen some change in me but probably just thought I was a miserable, moody person. It can become an obsession to read stuff online and search for others who've recovered. I was very similar, though the internet wasn't about back then, but I did all mine just reading books and magazines. Don't read doom and gloom stories though - there's no point, and it'll just add to your despair. Everyone has their own despair so don't take on board what others say. Everyone can recover from this - medicine and this BOOK AND WEBSITE will help guide you. You do question if you're mad - but no, you're not mad - believe me. You wouldn't be aware of all this and trying to recover if you were. I had exactly the same thoughts - but I knew I was completely sane, but just someone who was suffering from something I couldn't explain. I really would give these meds a good 6 months and longer. Longer the better. Recovery doesn't happen quickly so you have to give them long enough for your body to adapt to them. It took me 6 months to recover - some people take longer, some quicker. You can't hurry recovery - however painful it is, just keep going forward. Let it be, go with it ....... its temporary. Click Someone asked me if the tummy bug she was suddenly struck down with would be the cause of the anxiety that was lurking again. Yes, absolutely a stomach bug or any other physical ailment can bring you back down again and the anxiety will flare up / cause a setback / blip. This can happen with any sort of illness when you're recovering from anxiety. It lowers your resistance, makes you tired and as your body is already recovering from anxiety its bound to make you feel out of sorts. Its temporary. Try and accept that this is just a setback / blip and its because you're not physically well (stomach bug). Your body is just having a wobble. Treat yourself gently, relax towards any underlying anxiety that might be looming, don't fight it but just let it happen if it wants to, and just remind yourself that this is just your body responding to the stomach bug. Its always your reaction to anxiety that is key. To recoil / fight it just means you're adding anxiety to it and it makes it important again, so by relaxing towards it and letting it be there / giving it no attention means it will ease off. Treat anxiety like a naughty child ..... it might shout and demand your attention, but if you ignore it and carry on it'll become bored and realise its not affecting you and will ease off. You're re-educating your body / telling it to unlearn this. Over time the anxiety will stop coming. The body is a delicate machine and all sorts will upset the rhythm whilst you're recovering at the moment. The physical and mental well being work in harmony. If one if out of kilter, so too will the other (remember how low you can feel when you have a simple cold) It won't always be like this because once you've fully recovered then things like a stomach bug, flu etc etc won't bring the anxiety back as its doing now. to edit. Everyone recovers at different times. Don't base the time it takes you on someone else's - we're all different and everyone's body heals at a different rate. It took me 6 months to recover on SSRI's, and at the time it felt never ending. Now I look back I see that 6 months is short compared to the 16 years I was ill. Some people recover after 3-4 months, others much much longer. Just let recovery come to you in its own time - it will. Basically anxiety is caused by stress. Stress is adrenaline surging though the body and if prolonged over a long time and you don't rest inbetween, it'll build up to its peak and can result in a panic attack or anxiety. When this happens it can be frightening and you then fear this. You become anxious about having anxiety. Anxiety comes with side effects too - strange thoughts, depression, nausea, shaking, aches / pains, insomnia, headaches, feeling of depersonalisation ..... and many more. The sufferer begins to get anxious about these side effects which just adds more anxiety into the pot ...... making the anxiety greater. The very thing you fear. You start to constantly search for an answer, you question why, what if and don't understand what is happening to you. Your body doesn't rest and you become despondent, confused and tired ...... yet you continue to fear anxiety. The answer lies is understanding this ........ stop trying to over analyse each symptom. All the symptoms are due to anxiety, and once the anxiety eases so too will these symptoms. Learn to let the feelings be there, relax towards them but whilst still carrying on with your day. Relaxing and not tensioning / fighting is the way forward, as fighting causes stress and more anxiety. Work with the feelings there and your body starts to relearn not to react to anxiety with more anxiety and slowly starts to recover. here to edit. Switching medicine does happen sometimes when you find one type doesn't suit as well. Its doesn't matter which meds you're on though you will still go through the same waves (feeling good / anxiety) as it seems a normal part of recovery. This seems to be what you're having now - so its absolutely normal. These last completely throughout recovery too, though they do lessen as the months go by. It can take months and months to reach recovery so it does take lots of patience. The more you let a setback bother you the harder it will seem. The best way to deal with them is to understand they're temporary, relax towards it (because tensing and fighting it just creates anxiety and frustration), work with it there but in a relaxed manner, don't keep checking if its still there - it will be ...... This will help you ride out the storm - it won't give you instant relief ..... that comes after practice. In the UK 40mg is the maximum dose you can take on Citalopram (Celexa in the US) and a lot of people do struggle on this dose and do find in time they have constant side effects and have to lower. Try not to be in a hurry to recover - it will take time, whatever type of SSRI you're on. This feeling will go though and you'll be back to that lovely normal feeling again. Don't forget these setbacks will happen time after time until they cease. When you suffer with stress over and over, your nerves become a little sensitive over time. This means that they start to become 'trigger happy' and emotions start to become more exaggerated. Your nerves cannot sustain this sensitivity forever and needs time to calm every so often ...... but what do we do? ... we continue to add more stress and make our nerves more and more sensitive, pushing and pushing them until they can't cope anymore until they break down, resulting in an outpouring of adrenaline and anxiety. For a 'normal' person, if they'd had that anxiety feeling they'd be able to cope with it, but to a person that's been working those nerves to the maximum and feeling those emotions more and more, they will probably respond to the anxiety differently - with fear. So our nerves are now screaming at us - the heart is pounding, we sweat, shake, and the anxiety is raging around our bodies and we feel absolutely terrified of all these new feelings. We are over reacting to a physical feeling, but our emotions are already exaggerated, our bodies tense and alert and we start to fear this. Our body is super sensitised .......... everything we feel and think is over exaggerated. We hold our bodies tensely, fighting this 'thing', we clench our teeth, hold our stomaches tight ........ it is so tiring. We simply need to reverse this, to bring this sensitisation back down to normal, and that is by relaxing towards the anxiety, release the tension on the stomach, release that clenched jaw, ....... just let go of tension and float along. We should not react to the anxiety with tension, not fear it ....... and this will in time make our nerves calmer, soothing them so eventually they'll return to normal which will then bring all our reactions back to normal too. This is what I meant about the body needs a rest. We rush about and hold it so tight against fear which adds to the problem. If you held a heavy weight for a long time then your muscles would soon tire and would scream at you they wanted to rest. This is the same about tensing to anxiety. Stop rushing about, slow down, let go of those tense / tight muscles, relax, slump ....... but don't just sit there, but instead whilst relaxing you must at the same time carry on about your day as normal. Slowly. This is why 'normal' people don't have this reaction to anxiety because their nerves are at a normal level. When your nerves are heightened they will respond to anything and everything - its like they're alive and buzzing around your body. Treating anxiety is to first understand that everything you think and feel are all due to anxiety. All the what if I did this, what if my anxiety doesn't go, what if I'm this and what if I'm that ........ all these questions and many more that go round and round in your head all day create anxiety and they're never answered. I had my fair share of them. People start to avoid things and places because they feel anxious - but it isn't these places they fear, but it is the fear itself they fear. They fear that feeling so avoid places because they know they'll feel it there ...... and so the association with places starts. Its the same with scary thoughts. We fear our thoughts, and so our mind goes looking for more. They produce anxiety and so we then avoid these thoughts which just exaggerates them. We should instead let those thoughts be there, let them flit in and out, relax towards them and carry on with whatever we're doing. The anxiety will build up but it will also pass too. Over time ..... much time ..... your body slowly becomes desensitised to the place, thought or whatever it is and relearns not to be frightened. You're reversing the process. It was this that I began to understand. For a very long time though I couldn't get started on this as I expected to feel relief immediately. I'd think 'but I let those thoughts come and go and they still frighten me' ......... but I didn't understand that yes they would still frighten me, but I had to let them, relax, carry on. It wasn't until I started taking SSRI's that it all began to fit together and I could see what Dr Weeks meant, could see it was just anxiety I had and how to relax towards my fears. Yes the medication helped a great deal but I think 16 years of anxiety I just couldn't do it with just a book back then as I had too many habits to deal with. So yes - its definitely physical. Nerves are physical and they become 'jagged'. They just need to become smoothed out again. Take away the hurdle of the constant questions, there is no need to over analyse each symptom ...... they are all there purely because you have anxiety. Once the anxiety starts to ease, so to will all those symptoms - so why waste time trying to sort them out. ClickSometimes we tick along being able to cope with mild anxiety, soothing it, finding calm with various techniques we've learnt over time which is brilliant ....... and occasionally we can be confronted with a huge panic that just needs that little bit more help. Anxiety is usually brought on by stress, whether built up over time or as a shock. We each can only deal with so much stress before it builds up and often results in anxiety which can feel quite frightening. Its at this point that we can become afraid of that feeling, which then in turn produces more anxiety and you can get stuck in an anxiety cycle - anxiety / fear / anxiety etc. Anxiety produces many side effects which can be strange thoughts, racing heart, headaches, nausea, aches / pains, depersonalisation etc etc which the sufferer can become afraid of too, especially the thoughts. Being afraid of these produces even more anxiety - the very thing you're already afraid of. All this adds to the anxiety / fear / anxiety pot. Starting medication can also be difficult as it usually makes the symptoms worse to start with, and you don't just get better like you would on other prescriptions meds, but instead go through wave after wave of anxiety mixed with feeling good making the sufferer very confused. The meds are very good though - if you can stick with them. 2.5 months on meds is quite early still. Feeling up and down is perfectly normal and shows the meds are working. Having those periods feeling great followed by anxiety is exactly how the meds work throughout recovery. Yes I've had such bad anxiety bouts that its affect my stomach too - really not nice. So yes - you will get setbacks all the way through recovery, and sometime afterwards ..... but they get easier. I based my recovery time on the time when I stopped waking up with anxiety - the first I woke up feeling good was 6 months from the start of taking meds. I still had setbacks from there on but they were nothing by then and coped fine with them as by that time you're having weeks and weeks of feeling good and the setbacks are mild. They do eventually stop altogether. Recovery seems to be 3 steps forward and 2 steps back all the way. You will get these waves anxiety hit you every so often mixed with period of feeling well. Don't worry as this is perfectly normal, and seems to be the way the meds work. The setbacks are awful and they completely change the way you think, because thats a side effect of anxiety. It will go - the thoughts will go too. Not many people who go on to feeling really well don't return to the forums to chat. Its good so many recover biggrin Some return for various reasons and often find some I know. Yes there was a time when I couldn't sleep - thats a side effect from the medication too, and sometime the anxiety. I didn't take any sleeping aids though know some people do. This side effect usually wears off though. Something else to help is to not use a phone, tablet, laptop, computer a few hours before bed as the light emitted interferes with our sleep hormone. Even a Kindle can disturb sleep. I know even now if I've used my laptop too much before bed, I wired and lay awake for hours and watch each hour go by on the clock eek 😜 Yes when I recovered the intrusive thoughts stopped completely. They are a side effect of anxiety - thats all (hard to believe I know as they dominated my life at one time). When you're suffering with anxiety you will be intrusive thoughts, and as you recover and the anxiety starts to ease, so too will those thoughts. When the anxiety is no longer present neither are those thoughts. I can think of the thoughts that used to bother me and they no longer have that hold over me that they once did. They don't produce anxiety, so don't frighten me. When you're better everything gets put back into perspective. here to edit. Anxiety does play little tricks on you. Anxiety makes you fearful about everything, and so it'll also make you fearful about not recovering too. Negative thoughts are a side effect of anxiety. You think recovery only happens to others. I thought exactly like this too. But you will get through this. It is a complicated condition, though I found reading about it began to unravel the scary mess I found myself in which helped take a lot of the fear away and put me onto one path. Once you're out of it all you can see it for what it is. Nobody knows what this is like. You can explain it to be people but they still wouldn't get the full horror of living with this terrifying thing daily. You feel alone, are afraid to talk about it for fear of being mocked or not believed, and you spend your days trying to find your way out of it. You will get back to being yourself again. Please feel free to chat here about anything on this site here. The old Blog has been transferred here.
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